My Aspie Files

If truth be told – I hate being told what to do … HATE it – with a capital H.  It happens to many people – agreed – but I find that it’s worse when you have Aspergers Syndrome.  And you’re a woman.  And you have red hair.  Which all three characteristics I happen to possess….

Enter the self-help books.  How to feel better after a tragedy … How to discover inner calm … How to be strong in a catastrophic situation … How to keep and make friends …. etc….   You know the kind – the books where you read each page until you reach that a-ha moment ….. and are able to move on with your day.  And maybe your Life. There is a problem with these volumes : most are written by neurotypical experts who understand only their neurotypical mindset.   When I turn to those for guidance, I am able to see what society as a whole expects from me – but I seldom find real advice that I can use – simply because I am not wired to understand its purpose. As I read through the pages, I often think to myself:  WHAT?????  What a ridiculous piece of advice !  As if that works ….!   ( I guess that it does – just not for a person with my type of Aspie reasoning …. ) I get very upset when some expert tells me how I should do something – especially if this ‘expert’ understands  nothing about the Aspie brain …. and talks about us like we’re from another dimension …

And so, I think that I have found one of my writing projects.  (And my husband will be laughing when he reads this – because I think that I will use the title that he came up with for another project… )   ROWING ALONE …. a book written by a mature woman living with Aspergers Syndrome, outlining simple strategies to overcome fear, anxiety and mental exhaustion.  For years, I’ve been navigating the social world alone , looking for others whom like myself, have found a beacon in the night. Though  I have found a few kindred spirits, I find that my best coping mechanisms have been discovered by myself – and then bounced off my husband…. I find myself asking him questions every day :  I don’t understand how people think like that….. I wish I knew why ….. How do I do this and still look acceptable in the eyes of so and so …  As he explains his point,  I can somewhat empathize with this thinking and then tweak my own views.  To mimic yours – but to really be able to survive in this jungle that we live in.

There are many books written for people on the ASD spectrum.  I have read many.  Too many….  I have yet to find one written by a woman with Aspergers – ABOUT women with Aspergers and FOR  women with Aspergers.  One which combines personal accounts, spirituality, humour and tested and true strategies to overcome complex issues such anxiety, joy, pain, loss etc… A book by a professional teacher – for other women on the spectrum to relate to…. and to hopefully find calm and solutions to their daily afflictions with Life… A book written by a woman who is also a mother.  A wife.  A friend.  A daughter and a sister.  And whom, like many other women on the spectrum, has an incredible amount of empathy. And is going through Life often feeling very lost – but has managed to find her way thanks to her own strategies ….  

They say that the best books have been written by people who have experience ….  I have that ….  Been there – bought the t-shirt – and am still wearing it .

As a matter of fact – I refuse to take it off ….  Sue me – I’m Aspie ….